SPEAKING OF PHONE SEX | |
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"What are you wearing?" It's the classic question of phone sex, though there's no way to check if the answer is true. But then, talking dirty on the phone can be an odd mixture of sexy truth and stimulating fiction, of role-playing and unfiltered desire. "I love phone sex," says carnal conversationalist, James, "because it gives my imagination full rein, but I'm still masturbating with someone, kind of, not just jacking off alone." |
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In pre-Internet days, the main way of meeting strangers for abstract sex was
the commercial phone-chat line, where, for a fee, you could be connected to
a series of faceless, horny guys. Those of us with online access now tend to
meet in cyberspace. Computerised carnality has some of the same pluses as
phone sex: the safety of anonymity; the ability to play let's-pretend; the
opportunity to try out fantasies.
There are still many men who want to talk on the telephone, even after an online introduction. "Cybering back and forth," says one guy, "only goes so far. I prefer the phone; I love to actually hear someone's voice. The feedback is more immediate, and there's not all that typing." (And there's the added benefit of knowing that the "dominant leatherman" you're flirting with isn't really a teenage girl with a vivid imagination.) Certainly, fucking on the phone can be amazingly hot, a rapid escalation of improvised lust, embellished, for those into it, with the sounds of kink - slapping, pissing, or the like - and climaxed by moans of orgasm, faked or real. Even so, phone sex can have its downside. One guy who does a lot of phone play has some gripes: "I'm a dominant top, but I hate talking with bottoms who let me do all the work, just repeating, 'Yes, sir,' over and over, or saying nothing at all. I want feedback, damn it. There are also the guys who arrange online to talk on the phone, call you, but suddenly hang up just when things are getting good. They're wankers, and not in the good sense of the word." Still, when things click, telephone trysts can be amazingly hot. They can even be sonic foreplay. | |
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Our phone-sex top recalls, "I met this local
bottomboy online. He had elaborate fantasies but not much experience. We
started talking on the phone, once or twice a week or more.
I loved his voice; he sounded so innocent and vulnerable and horny. And he loved how perverted I was. He finally got his courage up and agreed to meet in person. We ended up seeing each other for a few years. Boy, could he take a spanking!" |
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Even in the flesh, the hottest sex is about the brain as well as the dick.
But phone sex is all about the mind. Even people who've been dating or
have long-term partners can find phone fun hot and horny-making. And
strangers can reach out across continents and oceans and, as the ads used to
say, "touch someone." Or grope, fuck, or fist someone - a disembodied
someone, maybe, but no less hot for being just a voice. Hotter, maybe, since
the object of your affection is a more-or-less blank screen on the other end
of an electronic link; you can project your desires onto him unbound by
physical reality.
"When someone asks what I'm wearing, I usually say I'm naked," says a phone-sex veteran, "regardless of whether it's true. But sometimes I say 'leather chaps' or 'a dirty jockstrap,' even if I've just come home from work in my business suit. I aim to please." And that's one big extra plus for phone sex: It's a date you don't have to dress up for.
Simon SheppardSan Francisco artist and activist Simon Sheppard is best known for his contributions to the erotic literary scene. He wrote hundreds of stories that appeared in S/M magazines; erotic anthologies; and over twenty editions of Best Gay Erotica and Best American Erotica. His Sextalk column has appeared on OutUK for more than 20 years. You can find out more about Simon Sheppard in this OutUK feature and tribute, or take a look at some of his many books that are still available:
Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell. In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines. | |
