SPEAKING OF NATURE | |
|
When homophobes run out of other insults to hurl, they tend to fall back on
"unnatural." "Have you ever seen a gay dog?" they taunt. Well, Rover does
seem more interested in humping legs than listening to Cher. It's kind of a
weird-ass argument anyway: Cows don't drive cars, but that's no reason to
sell your Golf. And, come to think of it, Mr. Muskox doesn't often go to
church.
But there are queer animals, lots of them. From penguins to elephants, from the Australian outback to right outside your window, Mother Nature often gets quite queer. |
|
|
Same-sex behaviour has been observed in many species
for centuries, but bias often coloured scientists' reports. If, after necking,
George Giraffe mounted Jerry Giraffe and shot his wad, that bit of
hanky-panky was explained away as "dominance behaviour." Male-animal "perversion" was
often attributed to a shortage of fuckable females. Yet even in situations
where heterosex is readily available, many beasties still go homo. If
bottlenose dolphins - a species in which long-term male/male couples are
common - are taken from co-ed groups and placed in all-male environments,
homosexual couplings actually are less frequent, not more.
And it's not just Flipper. Bighorn rams love to ram into butt; homosex accounts for about a quarter of their erotic activity during the mating season. African elephant males affectionately frolic in pairs around the waterhole, often with big old hard-ons, before one mounts the other. Pairs of male grey whales have been photographed intertwining their penises - Moby Dick, indeed. Even ugly old warthogs get gay and lesbian crushes. And then there are the apes, who are, genetically speaking, our closest relatives; virtually all of those tree-swingers, male and female, are actively, hornily bisexual. | |
| While ape hanky-panky has been widely documented, it wasn't till Bruce Bagemihl's authoritative 700-page book, Biological Exuberance, was published that most of us realized just how widespread animal homosexuality really is, occurring in more than 450 species. While it's important not to draw too many animal/human parallels - gay orangutans rarely moisturize or hang around in leather bars - it's more than clear that the birds and the bees are often kinda queer. |
|
|
When faced with the facts, homophobes have been known to sleazily change
their attacks. "Yeah, animals do it," they taunt. "So you want to be no
better than animals?" You can't win: It's a clear case
of "damned if deer do, damned if dogs don't." Opponents of gay parenting
might (or might not) be interested to know that pairs of female squirrel
monkeys frequently raise infants together: Heather Has Two Monkeys. But bias
resists science, and the bullshit about "unnatural" will probably persist,
facts notwithstanding.
Still, it's nice to know that we queer humans are not alone. Same-sex sex occurs throughout the wide, wide world, and it's not just creatures fucking, but often courting, showing affection, and even forming lasting pair-bonds. Homosexual and bisexual behaviours are not just odd aberrations or sinful willfulness. They're a part of creation now, most likely always have been, and will be until Earth is a cinder. When you're under attack from fundamentalists, it can be somehow reassuring to think of two male ostriches in love. Or baboons giving blow jobs. So next time you turn on the TV, remember what doesn't make it to the Discovery Channel: scenes like the one in Biological Exuberance of tumescent guy walruses doing the butt thrust. As the Beatles would say, goo goo goo joob.
Simon SheppardSan Francisco artist and activist Simon Sheppard is best known for his contributions to the erotic literary scene. He wrote hundreds of stories that appeared in S/M magazines; erotic anthologies; and over twenty editions of Best Gay Erotica and Best American Erotica. His Sextalk column has appeared on OutUK for more than 20 years. You can find out more about Simon Sheppard in this OutUK feature and tribute, or take a look at some of his many books that are still available:
Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell. In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines. | |
